Tymon visar ingenjörstendenser. Jag hittade honom framför datorn - då hade han klättrat upp i stolen, loggat på och öppnat ett antal webläsare genom att envist trycka på en banner som råkade ha en bil i sig. Han tryckte och tryckte eftersom istället för bilen kom det bara en massa tråkiga sidor om bilförsäkringar upp.
- Vad gör du?, frågade jag. Han tittade upp mot mig.
- Tymon upptagen!
Han har konfiskerat min ficklampa och går omkring med den och lyser på grejer. Men en dag hittade jag honom sittande i soffan med ficklampan i beståndsdelar i knät. Han hade skruvat isär den och pillade nåt med batterierna.
- Vad gör du?
- Tittar funkar!, svarade han glatt. Man blir nästan stolt. Fast det går nog över när han skruvar isär TVn nästa gång...
fredag, februari 08, 2008
måndag, februari 04, 2008
Kung-fu citat
Citatet på bilden från förra inlägget kommer från min Suphu. Här kommer några fler som jag kommer ihåg (på engelska, de låter inte lika kul i översättningen)
What's the matter with you people? Yo only do one hundred push-ups and you're ll tired.
*
Kung-fu is something you do every day with patience. If you practice playing guitar every day then it is kung-fu. If you come here and train only sometimes, it is not kung-fu.
*
I would be very happy if someone attacked me with a nunchaku.
*
(Suphu anfaller Mike med ett svärd)
- Defend yourself!
(Mike backar skrämd)
- B-b-b-ut wait! I don't know how to defend myself against a sword!
(Suphu stannar och betraktar svärdet)
- Do you know how to defend against a knife?
- Yes
- This is the same, only longer. Defend yourself!
(Fortsätter springa efter Mike och veva med svärdet)
*
You want to learn to fight. I want to teach you how to be healthy. If you're sick you cannot fight.
*
If you want to kill someone it's stupid to spend many years learning kung-fu. You just need a heavy club and a dark alley. So it's not why you're here.
*
- You're all invited to my place. I'll make some food for you. I already killed a dog.
(De flesta ler lite men en kille ser förskräckt ut. Suphu spänner ögonen i honom)
- What's the matter? You don't like dog?
- No....
- Why not? It's tasty.
*
If you hit me and I block then you hurt.
But if I hit you and you block then you hurt.
*
If you're fat, how can you kick?
(om vissa kända japanska storvuxna mästare, med genuint förundran)
*
- Today we learn defense against knife.
(Han ger en kille en knivattrap)
- This is number one, watch.
(Plötsligt springer han ut ur salen. Vi stirrar på dörren. Efter en stund kommer han tillbaka)
- But sometimes you cannot do number one. That's why we learn this...
*
What do you mean what to do if he holds your hand. Let him hold it. It's fun.
*
You train kung-fu every day and then when you die - you die directly!
(skulle nog ha varit uppmuntrande...)
*
- In Sweden, very funny - anyone can try to learn martial arts from a book, open a club and teach people wrong, crazy things. In Vietnam, when someone opens a club the other masters visit him to see if he's any good.
- You mean to kick his ass?
- Yes.
*
No, no, no... Not slowly! You already know slowly. Now do it quickly!
*
If you only want to learn to kick and punch, you don't need me. You need a punching bag.
*
I want you to kick good, so it looks nice. When you kick someone he should thank you for kicking him so beautifully.
*
(ovanstående gäller tydligen inte alltid...)
If you fight for real, fight dirty.
*
If a big man hits you on the head with a cucumber - you just laugh. But if a small kid hits you on the head with an iron pipe - you hurt. That's whay you should make your body like iron and not like cucumber.
*
If he wants to throw you - let him do it. He will get tired. But if you don't want to - you do like this. If you want to be REALLY ugly, you do like this. This one... (points to his neck) ...off! Finish. I only did it twice.
What's the matter with you people? Yo only do one hundred push-ups and you're ll tired.
*
Kung-fu is something you do every day with patience. If you practice playing guitar every day then it is kung-fu. If you come here and train only sometimes, it is not kung-fu.
*
I would be very happy if someone attacked me with a nunchaku.
*
(Suphu anfaller Mike med ett svärd)
- Defend yourself!
(Mike backar skrämd)
- B-b-b-ut wait! I don't know how to defend myself against a sword!
(Suphu stannar och betraktar svärdet)
- Do you know how to defend against a knife?
- Yes
- This is the same, only longer. Defend yourself!
(Fortsätter springa efter Mike och veva med svärdet)
*
You want to learn to fight. I want to teach you how to be healthy. If you're sick you cannot fight.
*
If you want to kill someone it's stupid to spend many years learning kung-fu. You just need a heavy club and a dark alley. So it's not why you're here.
*
- You're all invited to my place. I'll make some food for you. I already killed a dog.
(De flesta ler lite men en kille ser förskräckt ut. Suphu spänner ögonen i honom)
- What's the matter? You don't like dog?
- No....
- Why not? It's tasty.
*
If you hit me and I block then you hurt.
But if I hit you and you block then you hurt.
*
If you're fat, how can you kick?
(om vissa kända japanska storvuxna mästare, med genuint förundran)
*
- Today we learn defense against knife.
(Han ger en kille en knivattrap)
- This is number one, watch.
(Plötsligt springer han ut ur salen. Vi stirrar på dörren. Efter en stund kommer han tillbaka)
- But sometimes you cannot do number one. That's why we learn this...
*
What do you mean what to do if he holds your hand. Let him hold it. It's fun.
*
You train kung-fu every day and then when you die - you die directly!
(skulle nog ha varit uppmuntrande...)
*
- In Sweden, very funny - anyone can try to learn martial arts from a book, open a club and teach people wrong, crazy things. In Vietnam, when someone opens a club the other masters visit him to see if he's any good.
- You mean to kick his ass?
- Yes.
*
No, no, no... Not slowly! You already know slowly. Now do it quickly!
*
If you only want to learn to kick and punch, you don't need me. You need a punching bag.
*
I want you to kick good, so it looks nice. When you kick someone he should thank you for kicking him so beautifully.
*
(ovanstående gäller tydligen inte alltid...)
If you fight for real, fight dirty.
*
If a big man hits you on the head with a cucumber - you just laugh. But if a small kid hits you on the head with an iron pipe - you hurt. That's whay you should make your body like iron and not like cucumber.
*
If he wants to throw you - let him do it. He will get tired. But if you don't want to - you do like this. If you want to be REALLY ugly, you do like this. This one... (points to his neck) ...off! Finish. I only did it twice.
lördag, februari 02, 2008
Stycka
"Stycka" är vad Tymon kallar gymnastik. Friskis & Svettis har någonting som heter "familjegympa" som riktar sig till små barn - enkla rörelser till mer eller mindre kända barnvisor. Barn betalar inträde och vuxna följer med gratis, lite som i Busfabriken. Tymon tycker mycket om det. Till min stora förvåning så verkar jag vara den enda som hejar på mitt barn... Jag försöker uppmuntra, beröma, visa och se till att han både får motion och har roligt. De flesta andra verkar strunta fullständigt i sina barn som lite vilsna går bara omkring medans deras mammor och pappor iklädda svindyra träningskläder kastar sig i övningar med en sådan iver som om "krokodilsången" har blivit en OS-gren och de är är helt övertygade att de skall till Kina. Det är fascinerande att se så mycket missriktad energi på en gång.
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