Kung-fu citat

Citatet på bilden från förra inlägget kommer från min Suphu. Här kommer några fler som jag kommer ihåg (på engelska, de låter inte lika kul i översättningen)

What's the matter with you people? Yo only do one hundred push-ups and you're ll tired.

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Kung-fu is something you do every day with patience. If you practice playing guitar every day then it is kung-fu. If you come here and train only sometimes, it is not kung-fu.

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I would be very happy if someone attacked me with a nunchaku.

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(Suphu anfaller Mike med ett svärd)
- Defend yourself!
(Mike backar skrämd)
- B-b-b-ut wait! I don't know how to defend myself against a sword!
(Suphu stannar och betraktar svärdet)
- Do you know how to defend against a knife?
- Yes
- This is the same, only longer. Defend yourself!
(Fortsätter springa efter Mike och veva med svärdet)

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You want to learn to fight. I want to teach you how to be healthy. If you're sick you cannot fight.

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If you want to kill someone it's stupid to spend many years learning kung-fu. You just need a heavy club and a dark alley. So it's not why you're here.

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- You're all invited to my place. I'll make some food for you. I already killed a dog.
(De flesta ler lite men en kille ser förskräckt ut. Suphu spänner ögonen i honom)
- What's the matter? You don't like dog?
- No....
- Why not? It's tasty.

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If you hit me and I block then you hurt.
But if I hit you and you block then you hurt.

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If you're fat, how can you kick?
(om vissa kända japanska storvuxna mästare, med genuint förundran)

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- Today we learn defense against knife.
(Han ger en kille en knivattrap)
- This is number one, watch.
(Plötsligt springer han ut ur salen. Vi stirrar på dörren. Efter en stund kommer han tillbaka)
- But sometimes you cannot do number one. That's why we learn this...

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What do you mean what to do if he holds your hand. Let him hold it. It's fun.

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You train kung-fu every day and then when you die - you die directly!
(skulle nog ha varit uppmuntrande...)

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- In Sweden, very funny - anyone can try to learn martial arts from a book, open a club and teach people wrong, crazy things. In Vietnam, when someone opens a club the other masters visit him to see if he's any good.
- You mean to kick his ass?
- Yes.

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No, no, no... Not slowly! You already know slowly. Now do it quickly!

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If you only want to learn to kick and punch, you don't need me. You need a punching bag.

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I want you to kick good, so it looks nice. When you kick someone he should thank you for kicking him so beautifully.

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(ovanstående gäller tydligen inte alltid...)
If you fight for real, fight dirty.

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If a big man hits you on the head with a cucumber - you just laugh. But if a small kid hits you on the head with an iron pipe - you hurt. That's whay you should make your body like iron and not like cucumber.

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If he wants to throw you - let him do it. He will get tired. But if you don't want to - you do like this. If you want to be REALLY ugly, you do like this. This one... (points to his neck) ...off! Finish. I only did it twice.